By Ancilla Domini Giannina Surya
“Are you okay?”
They asked me.
I don’t know, honestly.
No one has ever asked me before.
Am I?
For years, after that one unfortunate event.
I never thought myself as a whole anymore.
The world broke me and ripped my soul apart.
It hurt me so bad that pain lost its meaning.
I even still remember the sound.
It was “crack”.
The sound.
The only sound I can hear.
The sound of my ribs,
cracked down,
and I couldn’t breathe.
My heart was splitting on the ground.
I couldn’t stop it.
Because I just broke its cages.
And everyone thought it was a suicide.
After that I just spent my hours trying,
To fix it up with tape and glue.
I act like I’m invincible.
But there are always nights,
That I spent crying until my whole body aches.
There is just too much sadness in my eyes.
But here it goes.
I smile,
More than I used to.
Because it’s harder to explain the chaos inside my mind,
When I don’t even understand it myself.
And people are a fool after all.
They will never be able to see past my mask.
So I took a deep breath.
Smile.
“I’m okay.”
I said.