Survivor

By Ancilla Domini Giannina Surya


“Are you okay?”

They asked me.

I don’t know, honestly.

No one has ever asked me before.

Am I?

For years, after that one unfortunate event.

I never thought myself as a whole anymore.

The world broke me and ripped my soul apart.

It hurt me so bad that pain lost its meaning.

I even still remember the sound.

It was “crack”.

The sound.

The only sound I can hear.

The sound of my ribs,

cracked down,

and I couldn’t breathe.

My heart was splitting on the ground.

I couldn’t stop it.

Because I just broke its cages.

And everyone thought it was a suicide.

After that I just spent my hours trying,

To fix it up with tape and glue.

I act like I’m invincible.

But there are always nights,

That I spent crying until my whole body aches.

There is just too much sadness in my eyes.

But here it goes.

I smile,

More than I used to.

Because it’s harder to explain the chaos inside my mind,

When I don’t even understand it myself.

And people are a fool after all.

They will never be able to see past my mask.

So I took a deep breath.

Smile.

“I’m okay.”

I said.

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